The Candidate Information that went out with the voting papers is more amusing than it is informative.
The loudest laugh goes to Fiona Green with this comment. “My preference is for an all-male team with me supporting my team. I have found working with men – energizing because they are logical, straight up, and don't harbour grudges for a lifetime”.
What a hoot. So, women are illogical, not straight up, and harbour grudges for a lifetime? I guess Fiona is not chasing the women’s vote then(!) but she will be a hit with the menfolk who will be silently nodding approval (when their partner is not looking)! Fiona has since made a public statement to the effect that the version appearing in the profile was sent in error, but even so, it is priceless and deserves to be in print.
Fiona is a little like a lucky dip, you never quite know what you are going to get on the day, but good on her for standing, and at least she was organised enough to have a photo included with her profile, unlike Spence Penny (standing in the WHG Heads ward) and Jodie Rameka (Urban ward). Come on guys, if you can’t even organise a passport-sized photo, why would anyone think you could organise yourself to prepare for council meetings? I may have this all wrong. Maybe they are just shy, which is not a trait common to aspiring or current politicians, but we must be fair nowadays and accept everyone for who they are.
Another laugh (the first of a few) goes to Ken Couper for saying “I’m here to serve your community, not burden it”. (Nice line, perhaps Sheryl Mai wrote that for him as well.)
Was Ken serving the community when he ignored the community and voted for Maori wards and changed the voting system from FPP to STV? Like, go right ahead Ken, change our voting system - don’t worry what we, the electors, think!
Ken’s LOL clangers don’t end there. How about this one: “I’ll fight to keep rates affordable”. So Ken thinks the rate increases he voted for are affordable: 17.2% in 2025 and 10.9% in 2024? Crickey Ken, what planet are you on? Planet Lala Land? Back on planet Earth, 89% of the submitters to the 2025 annual plan opposed the 17.2% rate increase! Nice one Ken, yep, easy to see you are serving the community, and not burdening it!
Another one from Ken. “I’ll cut unnecessary council spending.” Oh yeah, like you wanted to give tens of millions of dollars in ratepayer money to the Oruku landing development. Fortunately, a majority of councillors did listen to the public outrage, and voted contrary to Ken.
It’s laughable but also sad that a candidate (or his handlers) writes such “misinformation”.
Some profiles read like Candy floss. Chanelle Armstrong wants “to build communities that feel good to live in”. Perhaps she should set up a free hugs and cuddles booth to spread the positive energy to make us all feel oh so chilled. Carol Peters wants a “kinder” district too, so perhaps they could 𝘮𝘢𝘯 the booth together.
Pheonix Ruka wrote an interesting profile. Well, I assume it was interesting. It was in Maori without an English translation so I, and 96% of the population, have no idea what he was going on about apart from picking up the occasional word like Whanau and hapu, which I have gleaned from the 6pm 1news bulletins. I guess it does not matter because he is standing in the Maori ward, so he is selling himself to those on the Maori roll, at least the ones that vote and can read Maori.
Paul Gosling has some interesting comments to make about arresting Gates, Fauchi (sic) et al, electronic slavery, criminal eugenics, transhumanist digital convergence and things like that. Not sure what those things are, but it does liven up the Candidate's Handbook.
Amy (save the world) Macdonald says, “our natural environment supports the regional economy”, which would explain why Amy and her colleagues are so intent on shafting farmers and the dairy industry, which is pretty much the backbone of the economy at present.
Rick Stolwerk says, “financial prudence will be essential over the next three years”. Fine words Rick, but what about the last three years when NRC rates rose 33%? And how will Rick achieve financial prudence in the future when he is giving away $9.2 million over the next 10 years on “resilience” projects, which include paying for water tanks and solar panels for Marae? The only way the NRC will become financially prudent is to reverse the spending programs that Rick voted for!
But Jack Craw gets a prize for the best LOL clanger when he proudly declares, “We also limited rates to 3.54% rise, below inflation”. Well done Jack, you are divinity itself! But what about the 16.18% the year before, the 10.48% before that, and 13.89% before that? Perhaps Jack just didn’t have enough space in his 150-word limit to mention those increases!
But now to the all-important task of selecting our representatives for the next three years.
Hmmm… Eeny meeny miny moe? No, too many for that...
... that one has a nice smile….
[This is an opinion piece and does not represent the views of Democracy Northland]